Story #22 - Advice from Mom

Mom: “Don’t be so honest. You need to lie more.”

Mom: “Don’t have too many friends. You will just end up losing a lot of money.”

Me: “On what, Mom?”

Mom: “On birthday presents.”

Mom to me (in private): “You should be more like your sister and listen to what I say.”

Mom to my sister (in private): “You should be more like your sister and be more independent.”

Mom: “If you eat any more Oreo cookies, your skin is going to turn really dark. You’re already dark.”

Mom: “Come over and eat these pig brains. They’ll make you smarter.”